Geographic Pastlife Reading

General Location: Hawaiian Islands

Time Period: AD 100 to present
General personality traits: Genial warm and emotional. Larger than life character, accepting of all personalities no matter how difficult. Strange or conflicting feelings toward loved ones. The inner life is complex and uncentered. Maternal and nurturing. Finds solace and peace in water-oriented activities. Insecure over relationships. Eyes have a dreamy appearance. Inspires others, and is flexible in thought. Special attraction to flora and fauna. Aesthetic tastes are natural and organic.

Just so bored><

Sometimes I wonder...
How many times must I be twirl around to find an ending.

Just pictures with lil' illustrations.

Merry Christmas, a greeting said just a lil' too early. Lightings are already up at town, have you seen for yourself?
This year's lightings are better than the previous with the toy soldier and the ballerina as their theme.

Jason and I went to Central for dinner on Friday.

Dinner was good at that A...So...dunno what again.
Oh well, dessert is good too. Look at that Strawberry colour!
There's red bean paste below the strawberry ice-cream. Jason complained I ate it too fast, too furious.

Central's Xmas tree is kinda different but I still like my traditional giant type.

I figured Paragon gonna walk away with the best Xmas tree this year again (In my own opinion) cos' they really had a beautiful one the previous year.
I thought Taka's one is again gonna look like the previous and the previous and the previous year.
Ended up Taka kinda put in more effort this year round. I like that BIG star at the peak.

Paragon's one is good again. Just brilliant!

I am still pending for Tanglin and Raffles' City ones. This time of the year, my faithful T5 serves me well. But I wondered do Sony do camera trade in? I LOVE that pink Cybershot!

Speaking of pink, I saw this outside a flea just right outside Cineleisure and I asked Jason to buy it for me.
It's only $5 and I'm so gonna wear it thinking, wishing it would be my lucky charm. I need something lucky badly for work!

We went to watch Hero yesterday. Don't write it off as a lame show like me first. It's really good and since the sappy,soppy Korean shows blew here, we have not watch Jap shows for a long time.
I was kinda pissed off when TV was showing the prologue of HERO instead of Gong S last Saturday and only watched this show because Jason thought it looks interesting.
But damn it was really good. Captured the right mixes of emotions and a brilliant move that it was a movie instead of a series.
The difference between such kinda shows of Hong Kong and Japan is HK made it too draggy as a series and Jap made it a hit in the big screen.
Takuya Kimura is still so cute, you know.

Jason just had to 'destroy' the take together pictures like these:




-_-" Qi shi wo.

Anyway till the next weekend, brace yourself up.
Those who enjoy cam-whoring shows that they have confidence with their looks! Period.

Pray for all the good luck for the year!!

Materialis-ick

While materials do give you a false sense of happiness, the truth of them are still stomach churning.
I find the lifestyle really hallow. Happiness doesnt last that long.

Blog more tomorrow,coming to 1.30am.

The higher end

Let's face it. Despite the countless mantra chantings that materials are mere materials, the countless read of Tuesdays with Morrie and the countless reminders that we are leading such a blissful life, we sometimes still can't help wishing a life of the higher end.

I sure know that what we see the goodness in the higher end is just the facade. There's nothing known as the perfect life and life's goodness only comes when you stop complaining, start cherishing and attaining Mother Theresa's degree.

Unfortunately the lawn on the other bed of the river ALWAYS look better, juicer and smells fresher too.

When I watched The Devil That Wears Prada(Though I do not know why Prada and not LV or Dior or anything else?Maybe Prada goes better but that is such a d-uh lianish brand for me),
I was dead down with envy of all the good clothes that Anne Hathaway wore.
She looked so darn gorgeous with the clothes, the hair, the dark eyeliner and the red lipstick.
Clothes like these make your daily wear look oh so wrong.

I was flipping through Style during lunch today and that inspired me to do the post today.
There's nothing in there that is affordable except for the price of the magazine.($5.50)
I never read Style and probably would never if there isnt one lying at my colleague's table today and I was free.


I saw this and I like it almost immediately. To be honest, it wasn't the whole design that appeal but I do like that bling bling and especially that Dior imprinted. The chain part could have do without but again it made it stand out altogether.
If that is an engagement ring, I would want to put it under request!
(READ: BOLDED!)
Engagement rings could be the boriest ever. Mainly that sliver band with a small diamond and mostly, the guy's design sucks.
I do like Irene's one cos' it's not boring and kinda unique!

I realised there's Sytle Men as well. I kinda sum it up that Style Men should be the only few magazines that a guy should read.
FHM, Soccer/Games/Computers related,Gossips/Entertainment related etc reading guys are a bore and typical mostly.
I always roll my eyes when I see Jason, without thinking,head for soccer magazines in the magazine corner.

I like it when a guy is metrosexual. I am not digging for the extreme type but it is almost a courtesy these days that guys should take care of their face, the way they dress up, the perfume they use, the accessories that wear and especially their hair style.

You can tell me to hook up a gay instead but there is a fine line of gap between being gayish and being metrosexual. However if a gay can dress up better than an average boring guy, I rather be seen with a gay who wears nice shirt carrying a LV tote and sways as he walks,proving his nice butt.

That is mainly why I am generally happier when I see Jason being neater and better dress and look.(And not when he isn't)
Such is being shallow? Go figure.

Call it the society's fault. We all know that all these materials at the end of the day won't bring you happiness to your death bed but everyone probably still eye for what features in the next fashion print.
Ok, probably everyone is an overstatement but tell me what's the factor that bring the growth of such magazines and it's industry?

I am not caught in the trap of lusting for such branded cos' I am not born with such limit. But I wouldn't deny that if I have that limit, I would not start wanting.
For now I am just happy with the small buyings (And online shopping expenses is growing!) and console myself with a fact that if I can afford a VAIO, I can afford that LV too if I want to.

So much for a Thursday. Went to pray today and now let's hope all the bad luck is outta my way.
I'm now with a tap on my shoulder and I will holler!
That's my attitude at idiots I met and I don't give them a fuck!

Badly need to get rid of all the bad luckness at work. Though such is a cycle in my life but heck, I had enough!

Shoo all suey-ness, all fat-ness,all ugliness!

1% Talent, 99% Hardwork

I am obviously lacking in all the hard work needed and I am still not motivating myself enough.
ARGH!!!


Slimmer waist, better looks ,(I'm working on my Bangs De Cleo-prata look. Whatever that is lah. Lol!) higher sales and more money save!

Think stop procrastination! I will open a new bank account next month!

Jump higher gal, LEAP!!!
Fuck it off! I wanna work my ass off to the new brim!

Waiting for you kiss me at the night

I do have good memories during Christmas and I again, hope for some more romance this season.
I have more good faith in Christmas than any other occasions, including my birthday.
When I think Christmas, I think of winter clothing, couples, love, warmth, laughter, generosity and romance.
Christmas could be a whole lot better if it snow here but I guess we make do.

I dunno what else to blog for a long time.
Somehow or another, I kinda lost the words to type even.

Moving on

Yesterday was great. Apart from the first 4 hours in the office, the rest of the day went fine with Jason.

Haven't ate at Raffles City's foodcourt for a long time and the feeling was good. Somehow or another, Jason and I always had a good time spent eating there.

Every girl probably wants to wear boots and I found these at Robinsons.




They just look so smart to be worn and then again so are the prices. =(


You and I probably wished for a 'kingdom' like this.

Just thrilled by the multi arrays of colours.

IKEA kinda over-rated their catalogues sometimes or I kinda hoped for too much. X'mas don't really springed in there, not as much as I envisioned to be.

That's the kinda vodka for a girls' night out.
(At IKEA.)


This is so funny but don't even try to tell me how that mask is so suitable for me that I should bring it for a masquerade party.

There comes a point of your feelings whereby it gets tired of being grey and jaded.
Alot of things I may not be able to stomach, I may not understand, I may not be able to control to the way I want it to be. But I guess that's more or less about it.
I get tired and I move on.

Hard as it is, repetitive it can be. I have to recognise what's real and what's not and move on with what I have.
I considered myself to be blessed.
My family. My boyfriend. My friends.


I guess these are enough to substain a beautiful simple life.
(Don't you just like that setting and wish it's your own house,even if it's just a small corner?)

Thanks Steven

Steven was someone who really, really liked me then.
He gave me a Giordano jacket and I never used it. I kept it to collect dust and just for memoir sake.
One day my mum took it away since I have no good use. I was a lil disgruntled but again I really have no feel for the guy and his stuff. The least I could do is to respect it by not touching it.
My mum never use it anyway, she just thought it would be good if she's going to China during the cold season.
Today, I decided to use it.
My office is so freaking cold that I need something that's really warming.
That jacket is made for that purpose and I decided to make use of it.
It has been like 5 years(gosh!I was only 18 then?) and some memories just doesnt stir any emotions anymore.Besides it was not my emotions that were stirred.
Now that jacket is just a jacket. I guess everything else wore off with time, especially when it doesnt belonged to me in the first place.
Dont get me wrong, I do appreciated everything that was given and done, understand the pain and hurt..But I guess that's how life works out.

You hurt some, you get hurt.
You give some, you receive too.

Brands Innershine Berry Essence is soooooo~~nice!Like concentrated Ribena (without the sugar gulit but heck, I never once felt gulit for sugar and chocolate!) but with all the promised marketed goodness!

Christmas is coming and I know I have been repeating!
From this day onwards, gonna start bucking up and look all forward to Christmas, to Jason's new job and to DIY goodness.

I belive in karma.
Master Goh said (A feng sui-fortune teller, my boss' bro in law) that from your birthdate, it's able to tell your past life as well. Many people that we actually know of this life is because we knew them the previous one and/or somewhat related. So your colleague whom you get along with could very much be your relatives last life.
Whether you like or dislike the person all has to do with what and how you 2 were related.

Husband and wife gotta be one yin and yang. One "hard" and one "soft". They contrast and complement each other. Often it's one that owe the other previously so one come to pay and one collect the debt.
Probably alot of people break off is because the "debt" has been "paid off" and so do the fate between 2 of them.

Jason and I...I would say is he owed me something last life.
No matter how much I want NOT to hurt him, I would still bound to do so. I often can't understand how he can tolerate someone like me but I guess the above theory fits.

How much did he owe me then and how much did I owe the other?
Time can tell us, isn't it?

Good night.

The new office is nothing but cold.Though somewhat bearable but it's drying to the skin.
Christmas is coming soon and one of my fav places to visit is IKEA at this season.
Just browsed through the Xmas IKEA catalogue, I heart the stuff!

As compared to Jason, I think my IQ only stood a low of 12x plus.
I think I am very stupid as compared to a Mensa level boyfriend but again I guess that's where he makes me feel secure.

God is fair in the way that we are made up at other areas.For people like me, it is definitely the emotions part, the sensitivity and the empathy. That, however does not puts me at an advantage at all times.

早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹

我想说的

Central foodcourt has a pretty good view by the windows but their food suck. I warn you not to go near the store selling fish soup. You would have thought that someone/something died there.

No matter how much your heart aches, you still have to make a move.
Period.

Sorry if this avenue becomes one hella darkest spot of hell.

I badly need a good night sleep, really.

Xing zhen de tong dao shuo bu chu hua.
Wei she me yao zhe yang?
Hao xing ku.
Hao xing ku...

If you leave me now
You'll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please don't go
If you leave me now
You'll take away the very heart of me
No baby please don't go
A love like ours is love that's hard to find
How could we let it slip away
We've come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way
When tomorrow comes we'll both regret
Things we said today
Cause I need you more than you'll ever know

- If you leave me now, Chicago

气球飞走了

Everyone has an inner world.
Everyone has a song of their own.
Everyone has regrets.
Everyone has a choice.

Not every inner world is beautiful.
Not every song is happy.
Not every regret can be amend.
Not every choice is right.

Emotions. The part of the consciousness that involves feeling.
Memories. Faculty of where things are recalled to or kept in the mind.
Desires. A wish or longing.
Secrets. Not expressed; inward.

I like to think that being (overly) emotional loaded is indeed not a benefit but I never rejected that as well.
I like to think that memories are indeed painful stuff but I still like to have more of that.
I like to think desires are something that is used to punish us but I can't escape from that.
I like to think secrets are beautiful but I think it's a poison at the same time.

I asked Jason before what would he tell me if I only have 15 seconds left.
I forgot where I saw this question from. Most likely a blog and don't be surprised if it originates from yours.
I had a very beautiful answer from him then. It is an answer that I would love to think it will never change till the end of time.

I asked ..."If you have my last 30 seconds of my life, what would you tell me?"
God knows why I love such sadist questions but I still think that is a very beautiful question.
I thought it is kind if you know how much time you have left then it ended before you knew it.

The very first answer that I've got is beautiful too.
But I thought...As I thought, that answer wasn't really meant for me.
The second time I got the answer is another beautiful thought but I felt sad.
Although I know how things would be from the start but I can't help to feel sad.

不管你知道不知道
你对我真的重要

If I can live another 50-60 years, would it be as beautiful as that last 30 seconds? Or perhaps the last 15 seconds would be better?

Repercussion

Repercussion..How did I even dream of that word?
Silly dream but I just said that word in my dreams? Repercussion...pretty cool word to appear in dream huh?I didn't even mean the actual meaning of it when I said it in my dream.


Repercussion:
1.
an effect or result, often indirect or remote, of some event or action: The repercussions of the quarrel were widespread.
2.
the state of being driven back by a resisting body.
3.
a rebounding or recoil of something after impact.
4.
reverberation; echo.
5.
Music. (in a fugue) the point after the development of an episode at which the subject and answer appear again.

Repercussion of a held back desire when sparked off with the tinest possibilityonce self-thought possibility is powerful yet still disappointing.

It's really funny when I think I know what is actually going on in my head yet my heart seems to fog everything else.
Anyhow I guess it doesnt matter.It matters no more.
The answer is already given and there's nothing to hold on anymore.

Repercussion...cool word to appear in dreams.

I'm going crazy with the unsatisfied amount of sleep.
Damnit.

祝我生日快乐

It is not my birthday today nor anyone's.
You must have know this song, it's not hard not to hear this song before.
Still a very heart wrenching song.

I have no idea why standing up is so difficult now.
Maybe there is some things I don't understand yet. Maybe there will always be things I don't.
I only know that there is a bot of spilled ink inside. I tried cleaning it, tried ignoring it but the stain still bothers me.

I guess time will make me swallow the fact.
I think time will make people accept things easier.
I know time is the essence.

I was very tired last night. Thanks to the late night sleep and the coughing spell. That resulted in a very tired Mich and then a upset Jason.
I slept till 2pm plus today and I wouldn't have woke up if daddy hasn't wake me up.
I have not sleep till this late for some time.
I remembered I woke up thinking how scary it is to realise that I will be wake up old one day and I will die eventually.
Who knows what's there after?

I realised over and over again that my time is not immortalised. We can only look at the younger and sigh with envy cos' we have not found/done something meaningful yet.

To be honest, I am scare.
What if I carry on my life like this? I am not complaining about my life but there is something not fulfilled.
Would the hole be filled?

I hate this distasteful feel.
I very much disliked this kinda being 'forgotten' and 'forsaken' relationship over and over again.
It doesnt matter how close we were yesterday cos' there is always this possibility that we will only end up smiling like some forgotten strangers tomorrow.
You people who had done this to me never realised how much I care. I cared so much that I learned not to care anymore, telling myself this is life. Part and parcel, it's ok!
Were we really smiling for each other yesterday? What happened to all the "promises"?Aren't they worth anything?

I'm wrong again?

还有时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕幻灭重生

Sorry about it then.

Sometimes I really wanna say I'm sorry.
I guess it's all the lack of sleep that causes the sudden mood swing.
Shouldnt have watched R.E-Extinction on the comp last night when I have to wake up early the next morning. The prolonged coughing doesnt helps.

Sometimes I am really dangerous.
Mood fliped the very next second.
Danger is my other name, should have be more careful with myself.

But lastly..I dunno why I am always doing this to you.

November, I heart!

2nd of November, so far so good. Could be psychological or watchamacallit, I just beginning to feel good for this month.

I guess this month means looking ahead for a few stuff. One of which is Christmas!
Had kinda stop feeling Christmas for some years but guess it's time to pick myself up again. Which season could make you feel more warm and fuzzy than Christmas? Definitely not Chinese New Year for me. That season to me is more like entertainment.
Dressing up, feigning interest and smile and had to thank dishonestly when you received red packets. There's nothing I hate more than to make short talk and pretend to be "into" it when I feel like asking everyone to f-off. One of those times are visiting relatives, better yet not your relatives.
Maybe it wasn't the extend of asking people to fuck off but lately I just got into the mood of showing finger (in my head).

Speaking of showing the finger, I did once show my finger to a stranger.
I was walking to the bus stop after tuition and a stupid uncle who drove by decided to roll down his window and cat call, I showed him my finger spontaneously. I wasn't even worried that he will stop his car and come down.
A tired and angry tutor is probably dangerous as well.

I have the tendancy to look back, I always did.
It is difficult to imagine that we were close then.
You to me is a story. You and me,suddenly became fiction. Like everything's the author's imagination and never existed in reality.
I guess there is always such pain.

Sometime back..recently, I met an ex...colleague. It's funny how people suddenly appear in your life and it's kinda amusing.
I met him at my first job after graduation. He's really nice and funny in a most honest way. I guess having some guy older than you are provides some form of security. I admitted I kinda like him then. He was somewhat my ex-scandal, putting it in a lean sense cos' we were close.

But I guess I can never understand guys, guys that I like.
At the start, it always felt like something were there in between. If a guy didn't like you, there wouldn't be such misleading closeness in some words and actions. (Would there be?)
Somehow it always ended that perhaps they didn't like you after all cos' they never pursue on?
I mean it's like whatever but I notice such always happen to me.

So I was going to the ladies and I saw him just right outside my office premises. I only saw his back and I quickly out my head down, pretending not to see, thinking it could be a mistake.
When I walked back to the office, he was infront of me,surprised too.
We exchanged namecards and that was it.
Somethings...were over and are over.
Period.

Problem is I always feel very hurt at situations like these. Small flings like those are never an issue. I guess we never really like each other anyway.
But to be honest with you...Right now, I feel awfully empty somewhere.
I know how I feel towards him.
It's a mixture of twisted memories and then maybe some lil' feelings where the timing mixes everything wrong.

A friend he is.
A memory he was.
A more than friend I wish I could be then.
A less than that I think I am now.

Some songs just stir emotions.
I always like this song.

Don't worry, I know what I am doing now.
You are here right.
I know. :)

怎么隐藏
我的悲伤
失去你的地方
你的发香散的匆忙
我已经跟不上

闭上眼睛
还能看见
你离去的痕迹
在月光下
一直找寻那想念的身影

如果说分手是痛苦的起点
那在终点之前
我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白

我会发着呆
然后忘记你
接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天会有人代替
让我不再想念你

我会发着呆
然后微微笑
接着紧紧闭上眼
回想那一年
你温柔的脸
在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪
模糊了视线
你会看不见

忘记你....
轨迹...

A kiss to my November

I bought a pink daisy(or otherwise known as Gerbera as told) for Melissa(a colleague) while we dine out last night.
I just love to be with those english speaking people once in a while but then Fyn will always be my fav. ^^

I woke up today still thinking it's last day of October. I tried to make a note in my handphone but couldnt get it when it stated the date was over.(I set the alarm to be 31st Oct) and I thought my watch skip a date when it showed 1.
It took me a few minutes to stomach in that date that it IS 1st Nov today.
The black Oct is finally over!

Was entertaining the thought of LJS breakfast today but heck it is finally 1st Nov, shall do myself a right!
Nov is a month that you probably get start for Christmas.

Ok damn that this is such a lousy post.
I just dunno how to go about doing this thing anymore.
Somethings are meant to let go and move on.